I forgot to do an annual ‘top 10’ list for 35 consecutive years. So, here they are.

From looking at Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere, apparently we’re all contractually obliged to make top 10 lists at the end of the year. You know, a “top 10 moments of 2014” sort of deal. I never realized this before, so now I owe 35 years of top 10 lists. That’s 350 top things that happened in every year of my life. Sad face.

I don’t have that kind of time, so I’ll just pull together the things I remember clearly, just like they were yesterday. They may not necessarily be top moments and there may not be 10 for each year, but they live forever in the annals of my mind, and sometimes, my heart.

I hope I won’t be fined too heavily for this irregularity. Concerned face.

Top 10 Things About 1979

  1. I was born
  2. Margaret Thatcher was elected PM
  3. Michael Jackson released Off the Wall
  4. Three Mile Island got angry
Despite having worn this hat in 1970.
Despite having worn this hat in 1970.

Top 10 Things About 1980

  1. Discovered Dunkin’ Donuts munchkins
  2. The average men’s 3 piece suit cost $89.95
  3. Ronald Reagan was elected President
  4. Mount St. Helens got angry
Still a good look.
Still a good look.

Top 10 Things About 1981

  1. It was 1981
  2. They found the Titanic
  3. Pope shot, ushered in the era of bubble-Pope
  4. Di and Charles officially became a thing
And just like that, puffy sleeves on wedding gowns were mandatory.
And just like that, puffy sleeves on wedding gowns were mandatory.

Top 10 Things About 1982

  1. My sister was born
  2. USA Today published its first issue
  3. Italy won the World Cup
Borat had the winning goal.
Borat scored the winning goal.

Top 10 Things About 1983

  1. I had my birthday party at an amusement park
  2. The UK made seatbelts mandatory for drivers and front seat passengers
  3. Sally Ride became the first woman in space
There was fun in the dark.
There was fun in the dark.

Top 10 Things About 1984

  1. Kindergarten, I think
  2. Bacon cost $1.69/lb
  3. Virgin Atlantic launched (in later years the airline would allow me to drink cola from tiny cans with Richard Branson’s photo on them)
  4. I was Rainbow Brite for Halloween
  5. I went on a trip to Disney World
  6. We lived in a converted garage while our house was being built (and bathed in the sink)
My sister was the unicorn, I shit you not.
My sister was the unicorn, I shit you not.

Top 10 Things About 1985

  1. We lived in a guest house behind a hotel while our real house was (still) being built
  2. A 2 bedroom lakeview condo in Elyria, OH cost $59,900
  3. My favorite space shuttle, Atlantis, made its debut
  4. First ever mobile phone call was made (not by me, mind)
  5. Windows 1.0 launched
  6. The hole in the Ozone layer was discovered
  7. I was She-Ra for Halloween
Unicorn/pegasus not included.
Unicorn/pegasus not included.

Top 10 Things About 1986

  1. Bacon cost $1.75/lb
  2. I accidentally slept through Halley’s comet
  3. I discovered the musical CATS and never shut up about it
I also sang “Memory.” A lot.

Top 10 Things About 1987

  1. We moved into our new house
  2. The world’s population reached 5 billion
  3. Margaret Thatcher got a third term
  4. A “baggy dress” cost $52.00
Women paid $52 to look like this.
Women paid $52 to look like this.

Top 10 Things About 1988

  1. Australia celebrated its bicentennial
  2. Crack became a thing (not in my household, fortunately)
  3. Shuttle program began again after post-Challenger hiatus (Challenger is definitely sad face.)
  4. I forged my mother’s signature on homework for the first (and last) time
Be still my heart.
Be still my heart.

Top 10 Things About 1989

  1. A gallon of gas cost $.97
  2. I had my first serious crush on an older boy (who found out about it, thus totally ruining my life)
  3. Cold War ended
  4. Game Boy happened
  5. Tim Berners-Lee created a little thing called the World Wide Web
  6. “Love Shack” baybeeeeeeeee
  7. I discovered The Little Mermaid and never shut up about it
If only!
If only!

Top 10 Things About 1990

  1. Beverly Hills 90210, O.M.G.
  2. Home Alone, O.M.G.
  3. The Sci/Fi channel started broadcasting (though I wouldn’t fully appreciate it for several years)
  4. I asked for a Furby, then almost immediately regretted it
  5. Margaret Thatcher resigned
  6. The Hubble telescope went into orbit
  7. I was becoming an inexcusably huge nerd
Mind. Blown.
Mind. Blown.

Top 10 Things About 1991

  1. I slow danced with a boy for the first time (the song was “Take My Breath Away”, of course it was)
  2. Bacon cost $1.12/lb
  3. We saw a Dead Sea Scroll
  4. Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested, and I realized I have no inclination whatsoever to eat another human’s flesh
  5. I requested “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” on the radio an average of 13 times a day
  6. I began vocal lessons
  7. MS Dos 5.0 made it to computer class (at home, I was still on Mac)
  8. Read Tolkien for the first time
Just while that song was hot.
Just while that song was hot, then I got over him.

Top 10 Things About 1992

  1. I learned how to play “Bohemian Rhapsody” perfectly on the piano and I just wouldn’t stop
  2. I transferred to an all-girls, private Catholic school housed in a nunnery
  3. I saw Guns N’ Roses live (someone nailed Axl in the nads with a lighter and he stormed offstage, causing a minor riot)
  4. The EU officially became a thing
  5. Bill Clinton was elected President (his presidency would later introduce me to some pretty radical concepts, vis-à-vis Monica Lewinsky)
  6. I got a guitar
I also learned “Stairway to Heaven” and “November Rain”; for every pop song I requested my piano teacher made me learn a ragtime song. Still not sure it was worth it.

Top 10 Things About 1993

  1. I graduated 8th grade wearing a cap made out of a coffee filter (not by choice)
  2. I sang “Longer Than” at my uncle’s wedding; an attendee promised to make me a recording star, which never happened
  3. I discovered punk rock
  4. I discovered world music
  5. A movie ticket cost $4.14, on average
  6. Beanie Babies hit the market, prompting my first obsessive-compulsive collection
  7. Duran Duran came back!
I was rollin', yo.
I was rollin’, yo.

Top 10 Things About 1994

  1. I discovered Britpop
  2. The Chunnel
  3. I had my first major surgery (removing a tumor in my right ovary)
  4. A beautiful Irishman kissed me on the cheek at midnight on my birthday and told me my 15th year would be the best yet
  5. Tonya Harding vs. Nancy Kerrigan
  6. I went to my first World Cup match (Ireland vs. Norway)
  7. I wore my makeup like Nancy Spungen, every single day
Is there an emoji for this?
Is there an emoji for this?

Top 10 Things About 1995

  1. I saw David Bowie perform live
  2. I wore vintage 1982 silver disco heels to every social function
  3. I spent a month traveling the Philippines, Macau, Hong Kong and China
  4. I began my classical training in opera
  5. I learned about Ebola for the first time, and was suitably terrified
  6. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit
  7. I played Lady Thiang in The King and I (and it became my fondest role)
  8. I got my first job (working at a New Age shop)

0c6

Top 10 Things About 1996

  1. I was invited to an audience with the Pope, and for some insane reason I turned it down
  2. I almost flunked Chemistry
  3. Minimum wage was raised to $5.15/hour, and I got my first raise
  4. I went online for the first time and found out about AOL chat rooms
  5. Di and Charles officially became a former thing
  6. Mad Cow
  7. eBay occurred
  8. Blur was everything

internet-meme-1

Top 10 Things About 1997

  1. I met Peter Tork, which led to a long and winding adventure in the behind-the-scenes side of music biz
  2. I graduated high school and left my blackwatch plaid Catholic girl school uniform in the dust
  3. I began a long love affair with vinyl records and spent all my cash in the vinyl shop
  4. I decided I was pretty crazy about electronic music
  5. Hamburger meat cost $1.38/lb
  6. Hong Kong became Chinese again
  7. Bird Flu
  8. Dolly the sheep
  9. Hale-Bopp failed to herald the end of the world
  10. I loved everything about The Full Monty
Can't clone photogenic.
Can’t clone photogenic.

Top 10 Things About 1998

  1. I redesigned a website for Joan Jett
  2. I experienced my first (and only) male stripper performance
  3. I found out about online RPGs
  4. Hamburger meat cost $1.40/lb
  5. Bacon cost $2.53/lb
  6. New $20 bill was revealed and I had surprisingly strong feelings about it
  7. Windows 98
  8. Shakespeare in Love gave me the horrible realization that I have the capacity to be a hopeless romantic
TELNET.
TELNET.

Top 10 Things About 1999

  1. I was offered an internship working directly with the VP of the 4th largest PR firm in NYC, and for some insane reason I turned it down
  2. I took my first trip to France and what would be my first of six trips to the UK (so far) – I even used the Chunnel
  3. I celebrated my 20th birthday atop the Eiffel Tower
  4. The world’s population hit 6 billion
  5. For the first and last time in my life, I witnessed the end of a century
  6. West Nile Virus
  7. Napster happened
  8. I got my first mobile phone
  9. We all violated the first rule of Fight Club

ohfucklars

Top 10 Things About 2000

  1. The world didn’t end with Y2K
  2. Bacon cost $2.97/lb
  3. Bye bye, DotCom Bubble
  4. The London Eye opened (later giving rise to budget-busting CGI in the regrettable Fantastic Four film franchise)
  5. I watched my first and last season of Survivor

359

Top 10 Things About 2001

  1. Bacon cost $3.22/lb
  2. The IRA dismantled its weapons
  3. Anthrax (not the band)
  4. I learned about terrorism firsthand for the first time, and all it did was make me more resolved to love
  5. Wikipedia happened
  6. The iPod hit the market, and I still don’t have one
  7. Windows XP became my OS of choice (for the next 13 years)
  8. The Lord of the Rings trilogy debuted

2b1

Top 10 Things About 2002

  1. Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City
  2. Water on Mars!
  3. American Idol debuted (and I still haven’t watched it)
  4. I decided to marry David Wenham, though he didn’t know it
Yup.
Yup.

Top 10 Things About 2003

  1. Love Actually was everything
  2. A gallon of gas cost $1.83
  3. The Do Not Call List became a thing
  4. SARS
  5. The human genome was successfully mapped
  6. Prometea the horse
Cloning just keeps getting cuter.
Cloning just keeps getting cuter.

Top 10 Things About 2004

  1. A gallon of gas cost $2.10
  2. Richard Branson privatized space, unsure if cola cans with his face were included
  3. For the first time I regretted not buying Google stock (I still do)
  4. Wardrobe malfunction
  5. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

GXznZ

Top 10 Things About 2005

  1. I had my wisdom teeth removed, which sucked beyond comprehension, but they removed so much of my jaw bone I got a nice, slimmer jawline for the trouble
  2. The IRA gave up its weapons…again
  3. Deadliest Catch premiered
  4. I decided to go back to college for another major, psychology
  5. I spent ~14 hours a day on statistics homework but passed that class with an A
  6. Second Life

200_s

Top 10 Things About 2006

  1. I went to my first Lord of the Rings convention
  2. Boytown was everything
  3. North Korea became a meme
  4. I got a Wii (which eventually led to me becoming a Wii ski jump champion)
  5. I honed my education on two areas, human development and crisis intervention -the latter of which was my absolute favorite, the former of which has come in handy as a mom
Population 5.
Population 5.

Top 10 Things About 2007

  1. I met David Wenham, but did not tell him about our wedding plans
  2. 1st Second Life hiatus
  3. The Presets were quickly replacing Blur as my favorite band
  4. I graduated Magna Cum Laude
  5. I got my first job in marketing
  6. A gallon of gas cost $3.38
  7. I saw 300 in theatres 6 times

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Top 10 Things About 2008

  1. I decided I absolutely had to see The Presets live (it would take me 6 years)
  2. America elected its first African American president
  3. I actually made money writing about David Beckham every day
  4. HBO’s John Adams made me feel more patriotic than ever
  5. I discovered the Omega Institute & spent a weekend seminar with the divine Ilana Rubenfeld being educated, inspired, refreshed & renewed (incidentally, this is also where I literally bumped into one of the Queer Eyes, Kyan, and he was a golden god)

tumblr_lylgbd5bD11qf6xzyo1_500

Top 10 Things About 2009

  1. I came to the conclusion that Second Life was a pretty good option to escape from some very devastating real life pain
  2. I met Stephen Dillane and broke it off with Wenham to marry him instead
  3. Bacon cost $3.19/lb
  4. An average movie ticket cost $7.50
  5. The Presets decided (of their own design) to pose for this pic for brilliant photog Robin Roemer:
Somebody forgot to leave room for the Holy Ghost.
Somebody forgot to leave room for the Holy Spirit.
Thank you thank you thank you.

Top 10 Things About 2010

  1. I had my gallbladder removed so, you know, one less organ to worry about
  2. The Trip premiered
  3. A postage stamp cost $.44
And it makes you hungry, too.
And it makes you hungry, too. Don’t watch after taking an Ambien/Stilnox, you’ll start popping open ten year old cans of refried beans and thinking it’s gourmet.

Top 10 Things About 2011

  1. Annie, Merry and Pippin the kitties were born, and I hand reared them
  2. I had a banging (cat proof) Christmas tree
  3. Kate and Wills officially became a thing
  4. I got my first Android smartphone
  5. An average movie ticket cost $8.20
  6. For the first time, I owed the IRS back taxes on an error from 2008 (I paid promptly and courteously, of course)

cn_image.size.kate-middleton-meme-1

Top 10 Things About 2012

  1. My son was born – making me a mom for the first time
  2. Hurricane Sandy taught me about the things that mattered most (not gonna lie, electricity is one of them)
  3. Fall” took my breath away
  4. Derek aired
  5. I got my second job in marketing, a really good gig
  6. Stephen Dillane joined Game of Thrones, still had no idea about our wedding plans
  7. I got my first tablet, immediately started stalking real estate and designing houses I could never afford, because Trulia and because Houzz
  8. The world did not end with the Mayan calendar, proving the movie 2012 really was just science fiction, after all – damn you, Cusack, fooled again!
2 seasons & a special - the Gervais formula - but man did Derek make me UGLY CRY.
2 seasons & a special – the Gervais formula – but man did Derek make me UGLY CRY. I’ll miss it.

Top 10 Things About 2013

  1. My son and I moved into our little flat, along with our cats Merry & Pippin and our betta fish Nami
  2. Met Sig & Edgar Hansen, felt more Norwegian than ever before
  3. Beat Plague, Inc.
  4. Upgraded to a Note 2
I hugged this. Jealous?
I hugged this. Jealous?

Top 10 Things About 2014

  1. I revisited Cape May again after too long, and introduced my son to my great love, the ocean
  2. I finally saw The Presets live, and it was everything
  3. Hung my son’s first piece of “school art” on my fridge
  4. Pluto maybe possibly kinda sorta became a planet again…?
  5. My sister got me Tim Gunn’s autograph – personalized, with “make it work”
  6. I got my third & favorite job in marketing (integrated marketing communications)
  7. As of December 24th (the time of writing), my beloved West Ham was still 4th place in the EPL
  8. The dawn of Orion – my son’s and my name went up on that first flight
  9. Upgraded to a Note 4 and it pretty much completes me
  10. My son was Edgar Hansen for Halloween; it was perfection

Sincerly-Pluto_o_94661

Of course, even if I could accurately remember 350 things to post, it’d be hard to pinpoint exact dates for some of the biggest memories – the first time I ever performed solo, the first time I fell in love, the first time I ever got drunk, the first time I saw the sea, the first time I used a computer as a kid, the first live show I ever saw, my first piano lesson, etc. Suffice to say those things happened, and they’re memorable, even if it’s in a vague sort of way.

So long, 35 years of life.

2015, come on in. I’ve been waiting for you.

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